Happy Father’s Day to all the guys. In the spirit of fun I’ve collected this list of “Man Laws” from across the Internet, modified a few and deleted some. Guys, give this to the woman in your life to help her understand why you are the way you are. Of course, this will likely land you in hot water, but you’d get there anyway so what’s the difference.
Have a great day!
Man Laws
1. Men are not mind readers. We have no idea what you’re thinking.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports are like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
- Subtle hints do not work!
- Strong hints do not work!
- Obvious hints do not work!
- Just say it!
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something, or you can tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want the answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. It’s like camping, I actually like it.
JUN
About the Author:
Mat is a husband and father. He loves outdoor adventures including summiting several 14ers, running the Pikes Peak Ascent 3 times and riding his hard tail down Porcupine Rim at over 40mph. Not being afraid of the kitchen, he swears he's a pretty great cook too. Mat has been successfully involved in leading marketing, strategy and business growth efforts in such diverse environments as start ups to Fortune 50 companies. He has been involved in online and social media since 1998, long before it was even called social media. This is his personal blog and just like life it may include topics that range from Star Trek, Formula 1, movies, sports, business and his family. It will likely not include many references to politics and his relationship with God, both of which he is very passionate about, but you never know something may slip out (just a warning).